How willing are you to have an open heart?

There are 4 main types of Trauma Response whenever we encounter triggers externally from other people either through conversation or situations. Let's be honest. We all have trauma response no matter how well we present ourselves that we are fine and getting ahead of life. But all these are simple facades to hide behind suppressed or repressed emotions that were not expressed healthily or given the space to release.

We have been conditioned to think that emotions are not safe to be expressed for fear of rejection, misunderstood, judged or invalidated.

All types of trauma response will affect how we relate to others. Whenever we experience traumas, the tendency is to close our hearts to protect ourselves in defense. We have been taught that being vulnerable is a kind of weakness because people will exploit our kindness and step all over us. But that is not the true meaning of vulnerability. Allowing people to step all over us means that there is no healthy boundary and giving permission for disrespect. Being vulnerable on the other hand, means being open hearted to share what is true and authentic to us with the courage to be ourselves without fear of judgement, ridicule and resistance.

4 Types of Trauma Response:

1. Fight - angry outburst, controlling, bullying, explosive behavior, narcissistic tendency Emotion: Anger is stored in the liver or Solar Plexus chakra or sometimes in the heart at the Heart chakra. Anger is a type of fear that is externalized because we do not feel we are being heard properly or people over-stepping our personal space. So expressing anger is simply asking for attention and respect to be heard. During the childhood, we are being told it is not ok to express ourselves or our emotional needs are not met or we cannot do what we want.
   

2. Flight - overthinking, panic, anxious, unable to rest / sleep, OCD, perfectionist, avoidant of confronting or processing feelings Emotion: Anxiety is stored in the spleen and gallbladder at the Solar Plexus chakra. Anxiety is simply excessive energies that are not released healthily. In spiritual terms, anxiety is worrying about the past and future and not being present.
   

3. Freeze - difficult to make decisions, procrastinate, stagnant, isolated, feeling numb Emotion: Feeling trapped. Lack of courage and passion to act. Note: As I am typing this and then pause to flip a book which I borrowed from the library, I saw a bookmark inside a page of "Invest in yourself". This bookmark showed a quote: No matter how wonderful our dreams, how noble our ideals, or how high our hopes, ultimately we need courage to make them a reality. Without action, it's as if they never existed - Daisaku Ikeda It is funny how the universe works in throwing in messages like that randomly. :)
   

4. Fawn - people-pleasing, lack of boundary, co-dependency, feeling overwhelmed with responsibilities, disassociating, lack of self identity Emotion: Over-giving; pouring from an empty cup. Lack of self-love. Need for validation and the need to be needed. Blocked Solar Plexus chakra and Heart chakra
   

It is possible to have any or even all the 4 types of trauma responses at each different situation.

How to heal from Trauma Response:

1. Learn how to recognize and be aware of each type of trauma response whenever we get triggered.

2. Identify the type of trauma response eg Fawn.

3. Identify the exact response eg. feeling overwhelmed with responsibility.

4. Identify in what way are you feeling? How does it feel and which part of your body is feeling it?

5. Is it true? Eg. is it true that you need to carry all the burdens solely upon yourself? Or is it self-inflicted? If you let it rest for a while, what is the worst case scenario for not acting?

6. Breathe and process your thoughts and feelings.

7. Visualize white cleansing light to enter and penetrate your head and every part of your body and being and allow the negative energies to leave through your feet to the ground.

8. Now think of a new positive thought and feeling to replace the old thought and feeling. eg. I can take a break for a while, rest my brain before I start on work again.
   

If we hold onto these traumas, a lot of trapped emotions in the body can manifest into illness such as heart issues, constipation, digestive issues, liver cancer, colon cancer, allergies, headaches, insomnia etc. Many people tend to hide their emotions through external distractions, comfort eating or eating disorders, addictions and substance abuse instead of facing their true emotions.

Here is the quote from The Matrix Resurrection, The Analyst said: "The sheeple aint going anywhere. They like my world. They don't want this sentimentality. They don't want freedom or empowerment. They want to be controlled. They crave the comfort of certainty and that means you too back in your pods unconscious and alone just like them". The society has numbed people with gadgets, technology, celebrities, fame and fortune that are externally focused on the outside world to impress others based on appearances. The attention life span is growing shorter and shorter. Anxieties and stress in the nervous system become higher and higher until it breaks down.

Questions to ask yourself today:

How much are you in touch with your emotions today? How are you feeling in this moment? Are you being present with your emotions? Have you forgotten to breathe deeply?

How can you deepen your breath? How can you connect with your body?

How can you deepen your connection within your heart?

Who am I?