What is the biggest challenge in relationships?

Is there such a thing as a perfect relationship? Is there such a thing called Mr Right or Miss Right?

Relationship is derived from the word relation and relativity. We are all interconnected energetically and genetically. How we behave or react is based on relativity. What do I mean by that?

The same guy can behave differently with different partners because each partner has their own personalities, behaviors and attitudes. This is why some people will leave their romantic partners for another person when they feel they are not suitable for each other.

What is intolerable is the behavior of gaslighting. Nowadays it seems to be more common to see this pattern in relationships. People can break up from the relationship with a text message or refusing to explain what happened by disappearing. It leaves the other person feeling abandoned, heartbroken and without closure. It is actually quite irresponsible to leave without a closure or explanation. From a psychological perspective, the tendency for gaslighting also indicates a wounded inner child who experienced either having a parent who shirks family responsibility or grew up as an orphan or growing up with a broken family; while the other person who was feeling abandoned might also experience insecurity or fear of losing.

It takes a lot of courage and resilience to enter into a relationship. In the beginning, relationships will seem rosy and sweet. But when reality sets in, we see a lot of habits, frictions, disagreements even among twin flames, soul mates, life partners.

When I look at the synastry astrological chart of my hubby and mine, I understood why we married at such a short period of time at lightning speed, how each of our energies interacted contributing to who we are today and the challenges that we are learning in this lifetime. I know my hubby in a few past lives and there are still some karmic lessons to learn.

There is no such thing as Mr Right or Miss Right. It is more about your soul agreement. Who did you have a soul agreement with? There will be people who come to us for a reason and there will be people who come to us for a season. Every broken relationship will teach us something that we don't want in our lives and how we can be a better version the next time.

There is also no such thing as everlasting love in relationships because it takes two to clap. For a healthy relationship to work, self-love and transformation on both sides are very important. I looked at my parents synastry chart and oh boy, their egos are fighting with each other. As long as there is no personal transformation, the marriage will not be in harmony. So the biggest challenge in my opinion is the ego taking dominance in relationships.

So what is personal transformation? It is not something that can be intellectualized or understood with the mind. In fact, the mind can be an obstacle in relationships because the mind is ego-based. For a relationship to work, it has to be the marriage of both mind and heart; of masculine and feminine. Transformation comes from self-realization, awareness and willingness to change. No one can change us except ourselves. If we have resistance to change, we will not allow any change to occur. Transformation can only happen when we keep our heart and mind open and soft. If we allow the ego to interfere with our everyday life, in relationships, it will only create disharmony. But that is not to mean that we allow abusive patterns.

Abusive relationships are likely to happen due to past lives traumas that are unhealed. Patterns will keep recurring because it is unresolved. It is also a boundary issue and learning to be assertive and firm. So everything is about having balance. We can have compassion and empathy for others yet we also need to set healthy boundaries so that there is mutual respect in our relationships.

Something interesting that I also spot in Gene Keys of the Attractor Sphere. If you have line 3 in the Attractor Sphere which represents shadow frequency of promiscuous, this is the tendency for attracting casual / transient relationships.

So if you interested in a synastry reading to know more, please book a reading with me.