In a world of extroverts, can introverts survive or thrive?

Are we born to be extroverts or introverts? Can introversion and extroversion change over time? Recently I came across this book "The Powerful Purpose of Introverts" by Holley Gerth. Being an introvert, I love to read books since young. I resonated with this book a lot because I feel heard and understood. So I highly recommend this book for Introverts.

There are some spiritual gurus such as Abraham Hicks who claim that introverts are hiding from social interaction or withdrawing out of self-protection from being hurt. I watched her video on this particular topic many years ago and I could not decide if being introverted is something wrong or flawed or something to be healed. But after reading this book from Holley Gerth, I feel more understood as a human being. No one is born to be perfect. Being introverted is not something to be ashamed of. But in a world made up of mostly extroverted people, it can make introverts feel inadequate, worthless, valueless, ashamed, like a failure because people always like to make comparisons between things that are different.

Source: Abraham Hicks - Introverti vs. Extroverti - YouTube

Introverts can:

* feel invisible or unseen

* feel unheard

* feel misunderstood, rejected or despised

* feel like they are voiceless because nobody seems to care about what we talk about

* dislike small talks and meaningless or superficial conversations

* yearn for deep connection and meaningful conversations that are heart-felt

* love for depth, research and deep thinking

* love solitude to do their own things

* love privacy and personal space

* dislike noise and loud music

* dislike being in crowded places

* dislike taking photographs

* dislike gossips and talkative personalities

* dislike too much attention from others on them

* have independent thinking

There are other traits that are very similar to introversion but most coaches and therapists will make differentiations. For example, social anxiety and shyness are made to be different from introversion. But to be honest, most people have unhealed inner child whether they are introverted or extroverted. They just simply have different issues. Social anxiety, awkwardness and shyness arise because of the fear of rejection and fear of judgement. Most coaches talk about introversion but none of them talk about social anxiety, awkwardness and shyness as if it is some kind of taboo or undesirable trait. We are not being taught in school how to interact or connect with our classmates. It is assumed that we are automatically wired to connect because we are social animals. But I believe that communication is a form of conditioning. Our parents are not experts in effective communications too. So this is something lacking in our education system that is only focused on academic achievements and results. Some people are just born with the gift of the gab with loads of ideas and information to share. Not everyone externalize everything from the mind.

The minds of introverts and extroverts are wired differently. Introverts need their own private space to recharge their energies. Extroverts draw energies from the other people. This is why introverts typically feel drained after a night out with friends or partying.

Personally I do not think or feel that introverts should be demonized or shunned. Introverts are more introspective, willing to listen more intently, able to find solutions and more understanding. The following extract from the book resonates with me:

In a world packed with extroverts, it is easy for introverts to feel left out or excluded from friends' gatherings, passed from promotions in the workplace, or ostracized for being quiet. An introvert is just simply listening to extroverts talking most of the time, without a chance to voice out. Extroverts crave for attention and praise. They love to be in the limelight. They love to impress others. Without introverts, who will be there to listen to extroverts? Everyone has a role to play in this grand drama.

In the workplace, introverts are good with planning ahead, organizing, able to focus on details and seeing the broader picture. Does it mean that introverts cannot be promoted or lead a team? It really depends on the expectations of the company and the ability of their supervisor or boss to be able to see the contributions of their introverted employees.

In one of my previous jobs working in the textile industry, I began working as an assistant merchandiser and got promoted in 4-5 years and then subsequently promoted again in another 2 years. So it is possible to get promotion but it depends on whether you meet the right boss. Sometimes even with hard work, it does not guarantee promotion. Most people who get promoted either have the gift of the gab of networking and/or they are willing to do anything to get on top. Introverts do not really care about promotion. We only want to feel appreciated and respected.

Sometimes I question myself, is it wrong not to have ambition or desire? So I was searching for some answers. Then something came up from the web. It is actually quite funny.

I also want to share that if you feel you are a lightworker and you do not really have a craving for material desires. You are not alone here. There is nothing wrong with you not wanting to gain material things or money. You are just simply the way you are.

This is what I love about learning Human Design and Gene Keys because it respects the way we are and helps us understand our conditionings or not-self. My motivation in Human Design is color 6 of "Innocence".

If you want to know your motivation, you can check your profile in the Genetic Matrix app:

Human Design | Know Who You Are | Get Your Chart | Genetic Matrix

I find this useful in understanding my own motivation so that I do not have to feel guilty or bad about not having any agenda, plan or attempting to change the world or trying to lead because I am not designed to be the leader. I just need to be my true authentic self, by being detached, just Being-ness. My not-self will try to lead or try to win. But it only gets me more frustrated and unfulfilled. I know the coaches will talk about getting out of the comfort zone, to push our limits, to push our boundaries to unleash our potential. But do you find that whenever you do that, your body becomes uncomfortable, you get anxieties or even cold feet? If it is simply that your soul wants you to do, it should feel expansive and flowing, not contracted. So I learned to respect my body's response instead of allowing the not-self ego mind to dictate my decisions. This is how I learn to navigate in this world with the system of Human Design. So there is nothing good or bad about your own Human Design. Learn to accept the way you are; releasing the conditionings and not-self and embrace our True Self.

We are always conditioned by society to believe that we have to act, to do, to perform, to achieve things in life. This is a masculine/ patriarchal concept.

In Taoism, Lao Tzi taught about Wu Wei 無為 which means non-action or action in non-action. It is a paradoxical philosophy. It is an effortless act without acting. It simply goes with the flow of nature or the rhythm of life without pushing for things to happen. Of course, one can achieve results by pushing and asserting one's position. But it is taking up a lot of energy and can be draining one's energies. Understanding Wu Wei helps to conserve energy with less effort, less resistance and more flow. Wu Wei is more feminine / matriarchal in nature.

Source: What Is the Meaning of Wu Wei as a Taoist Concept? (learnreligions.com)

I am a different kind of coach or therapist that you find elsewhere because I integrate all these different concepts and wisdom teachings that respect the nature of human beings and all lives. Nobody wants to feel they are demonized or despised or flawed. Other coaches and therapists have their own beliefs and thought patterns. We learn to love and accept ourselves through non-judgement. When we hold judgement on others, it means we are actually judging ourselves.

So can introverts thrive? I believe so. There is a trend of more introverts making their voices heard. There are introverted leaders or public speakers too. Although I do not have such lofty ambition of becoming a public speaker, I do want to share my downloads whenever I feel called to. Our voices can come through the internet without needing to step out onto the stage or face the masses. There are other ways of making ourselves heard without following the crowd. Have you found your voice?