Sovereignty Vs Co-dependency - the root of all problems

Why do I think co-dependency is the root of all problems on Earth? Co-dependency is an unhealthy imbalanced relationship between people that is reliant for support. It is not wrong to have a support system between people but it becomes a burden when it is off-balanced; meaning one party is overloaded or overwhelmed with responsibilities while the other party is relying on that party for comfort. Why do people depend on others for support if they can learn to be self-reliant, independent or resourceful? There has to be a balance between giving support, receiving support, self-reliance and interdependence.

How to recognize Co-dependency in relationships

In co-dependent relationships, there is the Victim-Victimizer model.

1. The Victim - walking on eggshells to avoid conflicts, confrontations and triggers of the Victimizer. Have to be careful with their speech without offending the Victimizer. Holding back your authentic expression. Not able to speak your inner truth.
   

2. The Victim - feel the need to ask for permission from the Victimizer. Giving their powers away by compromising themselves of their needs.
   

3. The Victim - apologizes to the Victimizer all the time even when they are not in the wrong.
   

4. The Victim - does everything for the Victimizer to earn their love and approval. People-pleasing behaviors.
   

5. The Victim - need to be liked by people to feel good.
   

6. The Victim - struggles to find time alone for themselves while giving all their time to take care of others.
   

7. The Victim - feels that they lost their identity in the relationship. They have no sense of Self and places all attention, energy and time on the family or work.
   

8. The Victim - feels responsible for solving other people's problems.
   

9. The Victim - feels responsible for giving unsolicited advice to others when it is not asked for.
   

10. The Victim - feels used and under-appreciated.
    

11. The Victim - takes everything personally. Feels like a victim.
    

12. The Victim - expects others to take their advice.
    

13. The Victimizer - feels the need to control using manipulation, shaming, blaming, guilt trips to make victims listen and follow their orders.
    

14. The Victim - tries to fix other people in order to maintain control.
    

15. The Victimizer - always blaming others and not taking personal responsibility for correcting their own behaviors.

The co-dependent victim is a disempowered person who does not set boundaries to protect themselves, suffers low self-esteem, unable to speak their inner truth and unable to stand in their true authentic power.

When co-dependency is healed, such a person becomes self-empowered, has a healthy self-esteem, confident, courageous, speak their inner truth without fear of judgement and stand in their true authentic self.

The People has not recognized their true authenticity to exercise their sovereign power or as a Divine Being. Instead they give their powers away to external parties, to the external world, to external advice, to politicians, to the economy, to self-proclaimed experts, and the list goes on.

This is why I do not advocate co-dependent behaviors or handholding in my coaching style. In fact, I told my clients to listen to their intuition, use their own discernment and stand in their own power. I know there are many coaches, therapists and healers who have this habit of running regular courses and workshops to attract on-going clients. I am not here to judge them. But to me, it is a kind of co-dependent behaviors that are not healthy for people. It is disempowering them. It is more important to have self-help resources that can facilitate self-empowerment for individuals.

It is alright to have a support system in the beginning of any coaching programs but most importantly, we have to recognize that at some point, we have to let go of any attachment styles so that our clients can be independent, sovereign and divine.

Even healers, lightworkers, whatever labels you identify with, also have co-dependent issues trying to fix and heal others. I was one of them in the past. LOL.

We are not here to fix anyone. We are just acting as intuitive mirrors to pass the message around so that people can do their own self-reflection. We are not here to manipulate the outcome. The outcome can only be determined by the Divine Plan in Divine Timing. This is what most people talk about Destiny. Some people may not believe in Destiny, thinking that they can change their destiny through will power. To some extent, yes, we can control our beliefs, attitudes, skills, emotions to manifest for what we desire. But we cannot control the outcome because this world is an interdependent network made up of infinite energies. We cannot control the outcome because anything possible can happen. This is where miracle comes in. So instead of trying so hard to control the outcome, simply surrender to the universe for the best possible result for the highest and greatest good.

Affirm to yourself today: I am god, I am Sovereign, I am Free!